Failure to Give Effective Feedback Can Cost You Dearly
Previously Published in The American Lawyer
Riley, an associate, was part of the firm’s litigation team for an important client. She came to our coaching session straight from her annual review, fuming. Ari, the practice group’s leader, told Riley that the client had requested she no longer work on its matters. Apparently, Riley had rubbed the client the wrong way—interrupting, not listening carefully enough to what the client said, and disregarding certain protocols.
While Riley hadn’t worked with that client since the matter settled months ago, she attributed that to the randomness of the assignment process. Nor had Riley seen much of Ari, since they’d been working remotely.
Riley told me:
I can’t believe nobody at the firm respected me enough to tell me this at the time. How do they expect me to improve if I don’t even know I’m doing anything wrong? That sends a pretty clear message: nobody here cares about my professional development … or about my career. Or about ME. All that stuff they tell us about wanting to help us develop and grow—it’s BS.
I wish I could say Riley’s story is an anomaly. It’s not.
Attorneys at all levels, including senior lawyers and leaders, have said how shocked and angered they were to learn well after the fact that they’d made a mistake or caused a problem that no one mentioned to them. Sometimes they learn about this as Riley did, in a formal review. Worse, others learn about it via the gossip mill or casual conversation.
Either way, it’s never good.
Why Ari Didn’t Give Feedback
I observe two reasons people don’t give adequate feedback.
The first is time. In a culture that prizes the billable hour, it can feel to some like a waste of time to examine what went wrong, or to explain to someone else what is or is not working. That’s especially true if the other person is perceived as unlikely to remain at the firm for the long term. The return on investment on a senior lawyer’s time spent giving feedback is less quantifiable than time spent on billable hours or rainmaking. Structurally, most law firms offer no meaningful incentive to devote time to delivering useful feedback.
The second obstacle to giving feedback is that it makes many people uncomfortable. Sometimes the person doesn’t know exactly what to say or how to say it. Sometimes the person mistakenly believes that all criticism is “mean” or “unkind,” so they avoid giving it. Some lawyers—frankly, a lot more than expected—have trained themselves to sidestep interpersonal unpleasantness whenever possible. We intuitively know that people do not want to hear negative feedback—even if they say they do. And while no one wants to deliver bad news, delivering constructive criticism can help both sides of the conversation.
Another example I see often is a recently promoted lawyer (new leader, senior associate, junior partner, etc.) who has not yet mentally inhabited their new role. They think, “Who the heck am I to be saying negative things to my friend and peer? I don’t have the right to do that.” So they say … nothing.
Why Giving Feedback Is Necessary
Feedback is essential to cultivating talent. None of us can learn or improve without guidance. Good feedback is an investment in people’s growth and learning. It is a requisite business expense.
Failure to give feedback is a professional liability; associates may not want to work with more senior attorneys if they can’t benefit from the connection. Feedback is one way to help newer, less experienced attorneys to grow, and failing to provide direction or growth can boomerang against the firm, as Riley’s case will illustrate.
How to Give Effective Feedback
Have clarity. Ask yourself: what do I need this person to know to do a more effective job? What practices do I need to encourage? What missteps—in approach, execution or attitude—do I want this person to avoid?
Get permission. Ask the person if they would like feedback. While some senior lawyers may bristle at that, it is in your own interest. It is not a question of whether a supervisor has the “right” to give feedback—of course you do. The person must be able to hear and take in the feedback. Neuroscientific research has shown that humans cannot absorb, much less retain, much data when in “fight, flight or freeze” mode. Make sure the person is ready to listen.
Define the conversation. Make a point of announcing that this is an opportunity for feedback on the work—and use that word. I can’t tell you how many times people have come out of a conversation without a shared view of what they had just exchanged. Some attorneys speak so gingerly when critiquing another’s performance that the person they are directing the critique to has no idea they just had received feedback (positive or negative).
Encourage dialogue. Everyone has their own perspective. Try to enter the perceptions of the person you are speaking with. Be curious. Ask questions. Feedback can be an act of generosity—open your own mind to the perceptions or misperceptions of another. You might learn something surprising.
These are just a few ideas to get you started, but the takeaway is this: Giving effective feedback is an essential professional skill. Many law firms and other organizations offer training or coaching on best practices. There are also resources (many free) available online; I’ve listed some below.
Take advantage of building this skill.
The Consequences of Not Giving Feedback
If you fail to give effective feedback, not only will you have fewer people who want to work with you, but you may well lose good people because you have failed to invest in them, a common pitfall in the competition for talent.
Riley’s story illustrates that. Having decided that trust in the firm had been irreparably breached, Riley landed a job with a competitor and gave notice. Not wanting to burn any professional bridges, Riley maintained the veneer of good relations with the firm and its lawyers. But her opinion of the firm had plummeted: their rhetoric about supporting and investing in her career was hollow.
During her exit interview when the firm asked why she was leaving, Riley offered a stock response: new opportunity. But when students at her law school called to ask her opinion of the firm, she gave it, with all her resentments unvarnished.
The firm lost Riley and damaged its own reputation in the process.
Investing in employees is not about providing free perks, it is about taking the time and energy to empower their best work. Smart leadership looks to incentivize lawyers to invest their time in cultivating their people.